Happiness Is a Choice, So Choose to Be Happy!

Everyone certainly has a different definition of happiness. But, as the Dalai Lama XIV said, “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. “

From these statements, it can be concluded that happiness is a choice that we make ourselves, not just present in life. So, if you feel life is too heavy to live, and happiness seems very far away, try several tips below. This article may not completely erase your sadness, but you would smile again after finish reading it.

  1. Always Be Grateful in Any Condition

Gratitude is the best way to achieve happiness. This is true! Especially when we are grateful for any event in our lives. Good or bad, everything that happens is the best for us. It feels difficult, indeed, to be able to accept everything with a peaceful and grateful heart. However, it never hurts to try it.

When you first open your eyes in the morning, think about how grateful you are that you are still allowed to see this amazing world. And when night falls, when you want to close your eyes, remember again how glad you are because you still could sleep comfortably.

Sometimes, because we are too focused on bad things, we forget that there are many things we should be grateful, like a loyal partner, a child who loves you, or a friend who is always by your side.

  1. Have You Forgiven Yourself?

Anyone can even make mistakes. All of us have done something that we are not proud of and too embarrassing for us to tell. As explained by Dr Frederic Luskin, the biggest challenge in forgiving yourself is that we tend to find it difficult to move on from the guilt created by that mistake. So, maybe it’s time for us to forgive ourselves and live with a light heart.

  1. Stop Overthinking!

Have you ever thought of something for hours? It even makes you trapped in anxiety and then realizes that you don’t have any solution to solve that problem. That’s called overthinking.

In some cases, overthinking usually happens when we have to make a big decision in life. Are the decisions we made right or wrong? What happens next if it turns out that we made a wrong choice? If we continue to run in this bad habit, that’s certainly bad for our mental and physical well-being.

According to studies, women are more easily overthinking than men—with a percentage of 57 for women and 43 percent for men. The impact of overthinking can trigger anxiety and depression—especially occurs in women.

So, for those of you who feel easy to overthink, you shouldn’t isolate yourself from the world. The more often you are alone, the worse you’re overthinking. Just make yourself busy with positive activities like yoga, meditation, or maybe seeking new fun hobbies.

  1. Taking Time for Yourself

No matter how busy you are, take the time to do what you like. For example, doing your hobby, hanging out with friends, or even just listening to your favorite music at home. Sure, it would make your mental health well maintained and live positively. Also, you may also have more time for self-introspection, determining what needs to be changed and maintained, as well as what the next plans you would do.

  1. Don’t Complain Too Often

The key to happiness is trying to stop complaints. Instead of whining on things that are not as expected, try to overcome it and do not repeat the same mistakes. Don’t be afraid of changes that will make you better.

  1. Learn to Be a Bit Selfish

You may concern about other people feelings; like always try your best to make them happy, even though you may not feel the same way. It may be good, sometimes.

However, try to learn to be a bit selfish about your life. Fulfill your needs first, whatever it is so that you have the energy to live your life with a cheerful heart. After that, you may give comfort to the people around you.

  1. Stop Worrying About the Future

Enjoy the present moment and stop worrying about everything that may happen in the future. This is also one of the factors that can drain your positive energy and happiness.

On the other hand, it is reasonable to think about the future. However, do not get stuck in that mind. Focus also on your present days and don’t overthink about things which are beyond your control.

Final Thoughts

Being happy is to recognize that life is very meaningful, even if we have to go through a lot of challenges and moments of crisis. Sure, there are always times when we need to stop and take a breath before continuing the journey. However, always remember that happiness is a choice we make with our own action. So, please define happiness according to your own version.

How to Accept Yourself and Live More Happily

Self-acceptance is the key to solve various psychological problems, from low self-esteem to body image issues.

Learning how to accept yourself is difficult, and we often feel self-conscious for our perceived flaws. It becomes harder for people with negative experiences, such as abuse and bullying. However, it does not mean that you cannot learn it.

Why Self-acceptance Is Important

Developing self-acceptance will bring you long-term benefits. Some of them are:

  • Physical and emotional health

Do you know that chronic stress causes tons of physical and mental problems? Self-acceptance reduces the possibility of developing chronic stress, giving you a healthier life.

  • Better social relationship

Self-acceptance teaches you to be more humble, open-minded, and flexible when dealing with people. It will nurture your social relationship and overall positive environment.

  • Free from rumination

Rumination is when you keep negative things and memories in your mind, even long after the actual situation passes. It also makes you analyze things constantly, resulting in stress. Self-acceptance free you from this bad habit, because you learn to think that positive and negative things are parts of this world.

  • Better problem-solving skill

You cannot solve a problem if you keep being denial about what just happened. Self-acceptance helps you to see a problem with a clearer mind, because you acknowledge the faults or mistakes.

Self-acceptance also demands you to reevaluate your mind and view, which makes it a difficult thing to do for many people. Learning to accept yourself needs a long time, but you can do it with the right steps.

Steps to Accept Yourself

Psychotherapists have unique ways to help their clients to accept themselves, but their strategies share common grounds. Here are things you can do to accept yourself:

  1. Start with a strong intention

This sounds simple, but intention determines you will be successful or not. Having an intention means you are ready to reevaluate your mind, view, even prejudice to get better. Knowing that self-acceptance can cure is the first stage of positive chain reaction.

  1. List your strength

You must know your potentials to start a self-accepting journey. Make a list of things that you are proud of (don’t be bashful about them!). For example, you may be generous when helping people. You listen well when others share their problems. You always make the best of all situations. Make this list on a paper for more realistic “punch.”

  1. Choose your friends and families

Some friends and even family members can become toxic if they keep making you feel low and unworthy. Think about people in your life, especially those that surround you. Do they keep bringing down? Do they lift your spirit when you feel negative? Once you pinpoint the negative people, you can reduce the meeting frequency.

  1. Get closer with a support system

Once you identify the positive people, get closer to them. Be more open and share your stories with the most reliable one(s). Ask for their supports and nurture good relationships with them in return. These people will become your beacons and supporters for a long time.

  1. Reconcile with your mistakes and lost dreams

Many people cannot accept themselves because they still pine to past mistakes and lost dreams. Try to slowly release these past burdens. Think all the good things that happen in your present life, and how they matter more than woes from the past. Say to yourself: “that was the best thing I could do with my limited information, views, and experiences.”

  1. Get involved with charitable or social activities

Shifting your perspectives is great to feel more positive and not blaming self. Charity or social activities will “force” you to see other realities, which may be more unpleasant than yours. You can also experience joy from giving and taking care of others. Find manageable activities near your house, such as shelter volunteering, blood drive, homeless service, and such.

  1. Take care of yourself

The lack of self-acceptance can lead to harmful behaviors toward self. For example, you may not eat and sleep well, or abuse drugs and alcohol. Taking care of yourself is a way to feel better, which makes accepting yourself easier. Continue a hobby you neglect, such as playing instruments, gardening, or painting. Read, listen to music, do yoga, and play with pets to feel better.

  1. Channel your best inner self

Visualize your most ideal self. Is he a generous but wise person? Does she have more confidence and assertiveness than you right now? Now, imagine that ideal person talks to you. What he/she will say so you can follow the step? This mental exercise is great to create an inner perspective, guiding you to become a better person and stop blaming yourself.

Constantly blaming and criticizing yourself is exhausting, frustrating, and sink you to the deepest despair.

Learning how to accept yourself is the best way to live your fullest, with all your potentials. Combine internal and external supports to finally free your mind from vicious blame and critics.